Mr. M. pretends he’s not used to my madness, but he is. It’s perfectly normal for me to make him be my pretend boyfriend. Better the devil you know, right? I’ve had some really random experiences with making strangers my pretend boyfriends. Especially when they’re sexually confused. But that’s a story for another day.

We put KK into Mr. M’s car. When we got to her apartment, we carried her in together. She wetly kissed his chin as she tumbled into her bed. Mr. M. looked at me and said “Yeah, you owe me big time.”
“It’s not my fault!” I said weakly.
“Uh huh.” We got back into his car and started the drive to my place in companionable silence. The thing with Mr. M. and I, we’ve always had an agreement. A very on-an-off one, but an agreement nonetheless. Because of our history, we don’t have to talk too much, and there’s no awkwardness between us. Comfortable.
He pulled up to the parking in front of my apartment and switched off the car.

“Thanks.”
“No problem.” Pause. “So what do I get?”

Crap. I had seen that coming but had been hoping it had taken a convenient detour. Then all of a sudden it dawned on me that I may be those mamas who are addicted to the drama of guys. Like, there was always a stream of men in my life, whether potential candidates (Yu), current candidates (Zain), the-next-one-who-doesn’t know-it-yet (Bharti), the side dish while I’m getting him (Orange), the option who will never be an option but thinks he is (Safaricom)… I couldn’t just be truly single, a factor that has resulted in Mr. M-like situations. My life was becoming a deja-moo (feeling you’ve seen this bullshit before).

So as I sat in that car figuring this out (in a split second of course, because I’m a genius), I decided that I didn’t feel like owing Mr. M. anything. Because of the nature of us, I had that option – of choosing not to – I just didn’t usually pick it. Mr. M. is a biter. ‘Nuff said.

“We’ll do lunch.” There was a sliver of surprise, well-covered. “Ok. Call me.” I got out of the car and walked to my door. He drove away.

Maybe it was time for a manfast.

tSN

p.s. Check out www.gettingontherunway.blogspot.com