Things I am done with:

1. Cleaning. I have accepted. I am SOOOOO not about that life. Some heifers are. I am not one of them. So basically, for y’all wanting to wife me (hehe) there are very few wife-like qualities to be found her (I should call this part of my rant the broken record). Ther will be, no cooking, no cleaning, no porn star moves, and no washing of underwear. (There are a few here I could be convinced to do, but it’s better to start with lower expectations. Worked for KCSE…pahaaaa)

2.Bad tasting alcohol. Yes, I know the point of alcohol is not the taste, but for me, it is. The means does indeed justify the end. I don’t like pain (blunt over beer, can I get a whoop whoop? Except that first ever puff…it’s a mofo), and the things my palate has had to experience in pursuit of oblivion are just unfair (the Taste Buds Union has sent me several letters, and they WILL strike. I AM Kenyan). And so…NO MORE. (IRN, Black Ice and Yatta Red Grape Juice taste like Appletizer…or something so delightful. Like that drink in The BFG. #WIN)

3. Hooking my friends up. Like everyone in a relationship, I have a tendency to think I know better than all my single friends (I do) about their love lives, what is needed to make a relationship work(…because I do), who they would just make such a cute couple with…etc. But, you know what, my quiverful of luuuuurrrrvvv arrows just stabbed me a nice one in the arse. I am done with unsolicited hookups of (most) all kinds, and will not attempt (not even a teensy-weensy bit…not even after recovering from my wounds) to throw anyone in anyone’s way, literally, figuratively or otherwise. Why? sigh I may be bad at it (then again, when things go sour, one always blames the benevolent creature of light who was trying to help you out in the first place) You want a relationship/shag/flirtmate/one-night stand, go find it yourself.

Mostly.

tSN

p.s. Watched Nairobi Half Life today! YES!!