today is one of those days when I don’t want to write and I don’t want to get out of bed and I don’t understand why I’m not rich and I don’t know who picked me to not be in the royal family and I need to start playing the lottery again because my paycheck […]
In principle, I like beaches. They’re a plethora of shades of blue, which was my favourite colour before I decided that rainbow could be my favourite colour, fuck limited choices, and they have pretty sand, which gets everywhere, but it’s worth it, because that means that you were doing super fun things like building sandcastles […]
Apparently it is a taboo to write about ugly babies. Every time I say that is going to be my next blogpost, someone looks at me like I’m the Devil Incarnate (which, obviously, is a complement – everyone knows that Jesus was an average looking muscly chap, and Lucifer was a…handsome devil. Fine as hell. […]
What if you end up having stupid children? The choices of your children may or may not be a direct reflection of your parenting, but even so, it is entirely possible that you could have done your job, properly, as an adult (ha!) and parent – sung to them in the womb, done positive emotional […]
I am beginning this year with a bit of trepidation. Under normal circumstances I am not good with change. I would much rather my life remains more or less the same, though let me tell you, I was really hoping to win that 100 million shillings LOTTO had up for grabs on New Year’s Eve, […]
I was hoping that once I got into a further-on stage of my pseudo-adulthood, that I would be able to resist those things that separate the pubescents from the possibly grown – but no. I still walk into a hotel room and want to to immediately steal everything in sight. (the irony here, of course, […]
It’s that awkward moment when you’re closer to 30 than you are to 20 and you still haven’t figured your shit out and by your shit, I mean, your life, and by your life, I mean the things that adulthood is supposed to come with; cleared debt, a fridge full of earthly delights (Nutella, four […]
