So I like a well-planned threesome. Sue me. (it’s all in the detail,I swear) This,however,was not going to be one of them. I could tell. With threesomes,as with 69s and the banana ride at Luna Park (no pun intended),you need a certain level of inspiration for it to come together.

I wasn’t necessarily feeling überinspired that night. But the door of the club was coming ever closer. Escape was my only option. I stopped walking. ‘I’m not coming.’
‘Why?’ They both said. Still bleary! Really?

Now this put me in the position of having to come up with a quick handy and believable excuse. As was glaringly apparent,I did,in fact,want to come. The only reason I was antsy was a,you don’t just have a threesome with any Tom Dick and Harry. Just Tom and Dick would be fine. But you see when you replace Dick with Rachel,it becomes complicated. Women are incredibly prone to feeling slighted if Tom prefers Rachel. Especially if it 2 of the 3 are a couple. Which JavaGuy and I weren’t. Ok,ok. I was being selfish. More legal action.

Reason B would be really,I just met the guy. Kind of. I mean,I didn’t even know his last name. The thought of a one-night-stand-particularly a pretty freaky one like this one-went against every fibre of my being. One word-Herpes. That’s ALL I’m saying. In a parallel universe,disease doesn’t matter. However,earthling,here,it does.

‘My boyfriend is over there.’ I said. Tonight was just one of those nights when I wasn’t saying the wisest things. And I couldn’t prove them,either.
‘Oh really?’ JavaGuy’s eyebrow raised. KK started giggling. So much for moral support. ‘Let’s go say hi,’ she said. Ok so maybe I have a slight problem with confrontation. Lying is easier. subpoena I began to look frantically around the club for someone I knew well enough to make my boyfriend. Too drunk…too gay…too short…
And the day was saved,thanks to…Mr.M. I got to him first,next to the bar. ‘I’ll owe you if you just play along,’ I muttered. ‘This is my boyfriend,M.’ I exclaimed with too bright a smile.
‘Hi.’ JavaGuy. ‘M! Long time never-uh,no see.’ KK. ‘I have to go,’ said JavaGuy abruptly. ‘Playing games isn’t really my thing.’

I breathed a sigh of relief as he walked away from the bar. KK turned to me,said ‘Cockblocker.’ and passed out.

tSN

Ps. Check out http://bourgeoisewithoutboho.blogspot.com

:o)