…or lack thereof. I’m fondly thinking of a time when sex was at my disposal and I could chat up one of my regulars for a week or so before getting regular cooch. Now? That chatup may have to be 6 months, the way the Kenyan government is handling this thing, and we all know that a man’s attention span…sorry, let me speak for my men. Ahem.

It’s funny the things we’re paying attention to during COVID-19 times, particularly what your lizard brain thinks you need. Tissue, for me, is a personal and regular need, not want. Sex? Yeah, it’s a want, but vibrators just don’t do it the same way, and apparently, it isn’t an essential service.

I’ve been saying that Nairobi will be an orgy when this thing is over, but now I wonder if people will become more discerning about their partners? For example, multiple sources online say that you CAN have sex during this season, but you have to keep it to one regular partner, if at all (yes, I am not the only one thinking about this, no, I do not see your judgment). How did people pick the one partner? What were the qualifications? Important things like clean sheets to be social distancing from, or actual good dick with a janky Mshwari score? I dunno. I think people will kick mediocre penis play to the curb in favour of what’s really important – holding your government to account over what they did, and, raising your standards of cock post the cockalypse – sorry, Coronalypse. Yes?