I don’t like this exercise thing. I know I need to start liking it for my 50 year old (curvy, richer) self. But listen. LISTEN, LINDA. MAN’S NOT HOT.

I kid. Listen. Exercise isn’t fun. It doesn’t look good. I don’t get a rush doing it. I don’t look forward to doing it. Si fundyms. I don’t feel I’m building a future and planting trees. I just feel pain.

Granted, my limited exercise experience is always managing to pick the house on the top floor to live on (on purpose for other factors) or as close to that as I can possibly get. Yeah, sure, I walk in a supermarket (3k steps, easy), and I can walk about quite a bit, but that gym life is just not. For. Me. And it should become for me, right, because, 3 decades of life rapidly approaching, also, my diet isn’t super great, but here we are. And this has come into stark relief lately because ST had a quick gym stint, and, has started sijui hiking.

HIKING! The MOST exercisey of exercises save crossfit and, maybe, tax evasion. I mean, what the hell? Willingly nyimaing yourself air and feeling in your thighs to climb to the top of a peak for (drumroll) the gram, ha. He says it’s very fulfilling. My response is usually cupcakes are also very filling and fulfilling, especially when you make them on a budget and they isha on Day 1, mkay? So ati he wants to climb Mt Kenya and I’m Team Yay Bae, you want to conquer heights and live life, but I’m also Team I’m Definitely Not Coming. Then he did this little condescending laugh. for, of course you’re not coming. You aren’t going to go on a 35km hike over the weekend (duh) so you’re definitely not climbing a mountain. I was taken aback (yaani nikapigwa na butwaa). Just because I don’t want to hike ever in my life ever even if it is the last mountain I have to cross to get to Canaan, and just because I’m not a fan of the never-ending treadmill slash cardio (I’m sure I don’t like it) means I am being exercise shamed? That side eye was the realest lol. People do exercise for the same reason people eat broccoli: they know it is good for them, so they put on a happy face and try to get everyone to join in on the misery (remind you of something else?). I’ll get to it – just not over that hill/hike/torture. Not just yet. Almost certainly not this week…