The reviews are terrible, but this one isn’t – Justice League really hit the spot for me.

And boy, have the reviews been bad. I mean, there are actually people out there who like Thor: Ragnarok more than this. I tend to think that I am speaking objectively as a Batman fan as opposed to a DC/Marvel stan, because they’ve both had some considerable flops in the past few years (there’s a reason Superman continues to be my least favourite superhero) but…surely?

I watched it at Planet Media Prestige (y’all know I don’t do Imax anymore at all ever) and we were the first ones in the world (or rather, among the first ones in the world) to do so, which is always exciting. This movie begins when the world is dark and unprotected – ironic, seeing as Batman and Wonder Woman are still flitting around the world saving things in the dark and avoiding a potential romance, fun. But the world apparently can’t handle itself without Superman, and everything’s going to shit. Crime’s on the rise, people are sad or whatever, and there’s a threat coming. It hits the Amazonians and the Atlantians and then comes for the humans – a villain intent on destroying this earth to make room for his own and maintain his reputation as a world conqueror by using a supernatural force that has been hidden on earth. Just your usual world domination type of guy, basically. I don’t think I’ve spoiled anything so far. Y’all already know Superman is in the movie, right?

What didn’t I like about this movie? There was some misplaced and unnecessary sentimentality – but not nearly as bad as the sentimentality of the #MarthaMoment (let’s all roll our eyes once again) from Batman vs. Superman. There was a lot of ground to be built which made it a long movie, but a good long, unlike BvS and Transformers 4 (shivers) – 2 hours long, to be precise, and yes, you will need 3D glasses. I have a small issue with Batman’s goals in this one, but I appreciate that he is a lot like the version you see in the animated features – he’s just trying to bring everyone together. Can’t we all just get along slash save the world at our own peril?

But you see there was so much to literally love. They really tried hard to manage the balance of the main characters – a feat Avengers 2 did not manage well at all, but for other reasons – and give a good amount of screen time to each’s backstories and motivations. Ezra Miller as Flash is a freaking delight. Ben Affleck is growing on me, and yeah I know he’ll never be Keaton or Kilmer (look, I am who I am), but I’m ok with this version except for, as usual, the incredibly annoying voice and his self-esteem issues. Jason Momoa was everything I ever wanted, and Wonder Woman remains a beacon in the face of a distinctly unbalanced superhero universe. Cyborg, I can dig. The fight scenes are fantastic. Everyone I went to watch the movie with stood up numerous times during…wait, sorry, I almost let something slip there. Phew! I dug the simple, wieldy soundtrack (unlike #Thor’s. I know it sounds like I hate this movie. I actually don’t.) which had some nods to past superhero movies, and I like the new Alfred. And I LOVED that even though we all know DC has been panicking for a minute because of Marvel’s success at clowning, and hence there was more clowning than usual in this movie – it was still very clearly A DC MOVIE. A couple of jokes, more through action than Iron Man quips, fantastically dark and nuanced cinematography, a touch of romance – all the essentials. I’m watching it again to see if it still stands up against a second viewing, but as we stand, it’s an 8 and a half out of 10 from me.

My only problem really at this point is that everyone in Hollywood is assaulting everyone, and has been for some time. And if they’re not doing it, they’re saying harmful shit to perpetuate it – like that story for Momoa at 2012′ Comic Con when he was talking about Game Of Thrones and why he likes it, or Ben’s claims that are riding his tail at the moment. When does it stop and what the fuck can we watch that’s safe anymore? I mean…come ON. Is it that hard to NOT make rape jokes, or NOT rape, or not PERPETUATE rape culture and sexual assault?