So I watched this Guy Ritchie-directed movie last night and it was worth a good 7 out of 10 in my book – liked it better than Kingsman, less than Kong (agh, what did I give Kong?), mostly because I had watched Everything is a Remix the night before which significantly hampered my ability to not look at it as a great big mash up of a bunch of movies. But it’s a mashup that only Ritchie is able to deliver, and, did I mention that Charlie Hunnam is in this movie?

Look, there’s an entire ode to him on my Insta, so I won’t repeat except to say he can King my Queen anytime he likes. Call me. Anytime you like. Moving on…

King Arthur is a reworking (surprise!) of the age old tale about the boy who becomes king because he can pull the sword from the rock that was in the middle of the lake, in front of Camelot, and…basically how he got there. his father, Uther, fights the forces of evil outside, not realizing that there are some in his own home, and thus is killed while trying to save his son, who then lives a life in another city (hey Moses) until there is a nationwide call to find a boy of that age who can pull the sword, who has to be of Uther’s blood. Enter (slurp) our boy Charlie, who proceeds to do so. But the king’s brother is not feeling that story, and tries to stop him in any way he can – without, of course, thinking of the resistance building against him and the power of magic.

It’s basically the human version of The Sword In the Stone with a cuter, older lead meets Lord of the Rings, meets the original Little Mermaid meets Snatch – which, as you can gather, is pretty entertaining. Charlie (slurp) cuts a convincing roguish figure, symbolically (always) dressed in white (hey Jesus/Samurai Jack). There are surprise appearances by some actors which I loved loved loved, especially because this movie is so undeniably British. Charlie doesn’t have a love interest, which I also enjoyed – there were black people! Always here for that. Now more, more! In leading roles, thanks. Jude Law is a loosely constructed though believable villain, and the cinematography and Guy Ritchie-ness of the movie was breathtaking for me – wit, humour, quick action and dialogue – it was very entertaining.

What I never get with magic magic movies is that, why doesn’t the magic just be the shortcut to the end? Why is it that they have to trek long journeys instead of being vanished there? Why didn’t they just kill the usurper king from the get? What’s this last resort big magic sequence nonsense they always do – do it at the beginning! What’s the point of the magic if I still have to do all the human shit – like Harry, why didn’t you just fix your glasses, ffs?

ps. Wikipedia says it’s the first of a six-film deal. Here we go again. Also, Guinevere? Ai.