I am really craving things right now. And I’m not preggers,so it doesn’t make sense. Cause for even more worry? Yes?
I’m craving Sonford fries with vinegar. I’m craving hot,freshly-made crispy chapo spread with a thin layer of honey and a cup of near-strungi. I’m craving my own apartment and deeply blue neon nail polish. And maybe,perhaps,a beating. Those scar-causing,blood-inducing incredibly painful ones,like Martin used to give Paulina. The ones that I have to say I fell. Or wear sunglasses for a week.
Those last sentences are a lie. But sometimes I wonder if that’s how women who are beaten think,women who stay in abusive relationships.
I can’t claim to understand or approve of the psychology behind abuse. I can only tell stories and hope people see the light. cue Star Wars music while still maintaining the gravity of the situation
I know a boy. He’s so very attractive. In my freshman year,he was the It Man on campus. He’s tall,dark,and handsome,literally. He walks like he owns the earth,or carries it between his legs,which apparently,he does. He’s a musician as well. Always smells good,always looks good.
I know of his girlfriend. A petite thing,not at all shy or willing to put up with bullshit. Or at least,if you’ve gotten to university,you should have the mental capacity to be able to separate yourself from it. Right? And yet he locks her in the house they live in together and beats her for 3 hours straight,regardless of whether or not the neighbours are banging on the door to try to save her. Keep in mind-small girl.
They’re both students. She used to live in the university hostels until he made her move out. Guess he didn’t like to have to reach too far to slap. He made her give him her school fees for an entire semester so that he could…pimp his ride. During this semester that she was out of school,he would make her go to his classes-a completely different major-and do his assignments. Then he would beat her.
But,really,he didn’t have to make her,did he? She could have left. Right?
The school was informed of this. The school said as it happened off school property,it didn’t concern them,and they could do nothing unless the girl herself reported it. Which,of course,she wasn’t going to do. Because she loved him.
So is it the school at fault,or the neighbours who don’t take him to the police,or her,for taking masochism a bit too far,or their parents who raised them,or society who teaches them?
And what is love? Insanity? An excuse to treat people like scum? Or rather,is that really love? And if someone perceives love as beatings,do they not feel like their scars are an expression of affection,and when he breaks your arm,his love knows no bounds?
I don’t understand. But my father has never laid a hand on me,and he has a right. Therefore,I will never wait around to give a man that right. Oh,he can try. Then I’ll call my brothers,and buy a gun.
Sooo true…my dad's my example too. I can count on one hand the number of times he has come close to raising his voice at me…and trust me, my stupidity (as a child…and now), knows no bounds so he had every right. Reasons to be with a man that prays, and knows his God.
Oh gosh. Gun nothing thats too fast…. Buy metal cutters and wait till he sleeps then cut of the member and balls and let him die slowly… Shit…… Oh gosh. How does someone take it….
Ai,no i have refused!WHAT THE HELL?!!AS IN?
for shame times infinity..
'women give up so much' (for coloured girls)
Oh my Gosh!me I've never understood this, thank God!as in? In fact, I have been FULLY raised in my parents house, fully!Let you not be fooled that you need to 'use' your hand to get me back in line.
Like my ANTI-divorce mother said,”I am your mother.And I say marriage is for life. But if he hits you-LEAVE. I am your mother, and I say you must leave immediately!” -I will leave.
totally second what abba said.. great piece 🙂
Wow..
Thats some thought provoking stuff right there. You do raise some valid points. Dudes like that are vampires..only instead of blood, they suck life out of you. And the chicks who are their victims go through an interesting process where your sense of self preservation is stripped away and replaced with low self esteem..
This could easily turn into a blog post here…so I'll just quit now..
@Sam,do it! Doooo it! :o)
@Abba,listen to Lily. Let us all listen to Lily.
@nina,right?
@Kaimuri,right? In fact.
@b_wtb but,now,wait. That implies that there is a direct connection between spirituality and morality. Hm?
Whoa!! This happens, in campus?!? There is something wrong with that female..just hope she gets out of it before it gets worse. Still, I think..daddy issues.
I don't know if there's a connection, I guess in this case morality means a lot more. Some people in church do practice pugilism after all. Argh. I know a girl that got locked in the boot of a car. It's rife 🙁
The chick you speak of, I know one just like her from my campo days. She was from a well to do family, was very good looking, was popular and had all the jamaaz interested in her. She locked her affections on this one man who took her through such hell, least of which was breaking her leg. They only broke up coz he dumped her. And even then she really tried to hang on.
It's an esteem thing and I think we should thank God everyday that we're not there.
Salala…
Now, what for? Can't be the sex cause such men are useless where it matters.
I think some people are just born to be other people's punching bags. That's their destiny, and they embrace it whole-heartedly.
So I was thinking about self-mutilation the other day and it got me wondering if the psychology behind the two is the same. Maybe whatever psychological pain/trauma/abuse these chicks are going through is so horrible that they embrace physical pain as a diversion? Or something…it’s not like I fully understand the latter, but it makes more sense that way…hmmm…
I meant former, not latter. okay, that is all.
Esteem issues. Best believe, she will walk out without anyone asking her to. That is if she won't die first. 🙁
A shocking story told with such nerve. Greta prose.
Nobody follows Dbanj's advice, they all get love twisted.
I once knew a girl like that. It's a pathetic sight, an eyesore to see, a shame to even know of. I hate it with all my heart.
Abba, that may be a reason. But I also think one thing they share (suicidal souls & dysfunctional masochists) is retardation. When someone can't logically process hard facts, that's usually the only reasonable conclusion. Other issues like self-worth/image etc are factors here but still, ftw?! How bad can it really be?
Either that or they just have mental damages that should be treated clinically…
i almost shed a tear…how now? *regains composure*
madam, we must all learn as we question others' situations and reflect on our inner battles with the concept of love….xx
You don't need a gun, I have two.
KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL!! *frothing*, etc. Or castration. I could settle for castration. THEN kill? I dunno. *ahem*
This makes my blood boil. You have no idea. I'm a pacifist, I haven't been in a fight since I was 13 but I'm certain I'd put my 6'4″ frame to use should I ever see a man lay a hand on a woman.
You write really well. Abuse in any form is about subduing the abused. Power play but a very twisted form. It erodes one's self confidence, self esteem and believe it or not staying in the abused person's mind is easier to do. She probably thinks that it will get better or hopes that she can change him. And yes, it can happen to the best of us. The only thing you can hope for is that when you stuck in that twisted maze, you have friends and family rooting for you. It takes courage to leave.