I sometimes buy things – ok, I like to pretend I buy things a lot based on advertisements. The things in my house are there because I have been buying them for years, not because of their adverts. But, if I WAS buying things based on their adverts, then I would be…buying things based on NICE adverts.

Just an example: Nice adverts are anything that was made before CD-ROMS (haha) like the MILO Champion advert, the Tusker Baada ya Kazi advert (oohlalala oohlalala oohlalala oohlalalaOOH) and the Knorr soup advert (which I actually don’t remember ever watching. But…si…everyone knows?)

BAD adverts are the one like the Indomie advert (um…seriously??), the Safaricom watching sijui football on your phone in the middle of nowhere advert (because seriously. WHO does that? LIKE THAT? Aki and they have money) and that ATROCIOOUS Soko Ugali Malaika mash up.
REALLY???

Now that that’s out of the way.

DOOM IS A LIE!
I busted the conspiracy. The only reason why Doom (probably) sells more is because yes, it is a trusted brand that has been there for years, but also because its ads are (kinda) funny. Louis the Pest is practically a historical character and should be written down in Kenyan chronicles next to Tusker and Nyamabite.

Also, when agencies are advertising, even if they are the monopoly (#EABL), they still have to consistently remind you that they exist so that you keep buying them – whether you are going to buy them anyway or not (a la Safaricom’s super emotional commercials. To be fair…I get super emotional about my network services. And whatsapp. And bundles. Basically, if I had a lighter…).

But Doom is NOT a monopoly. There are a lot of other pesticides to kill insects with. Like Bolt – terrible advertisement with that chick of Tahidi High, ei, sema downgrade, Baygon (which everyone forgot exists. Do they even still make it??) and…other ones. But the one I found the other day (YES, I KNOW IT’S ALWAYS BEEN THERE) is RAID.

Now. Raid, I believe, is to Doom what the Daily Nation was to the Standard when they started out. Doom was the first one, the shiny one, the new kid on the block. Then it became the old not-hip-with-it man on the block. Then Nation popped up and haemorrhaged money until they were at the top. TA-DA! (Don’t go to school kids, grab the nearest millionaire)

Raid is at the stage where people (i.e. ME) are slowly starting to discover that DOOM IS A LIE and RAID IS THE TRUTH. Sure, they don’t advertise much. BUT IT WORKS.
I had a little pest problem that is now gone (ENOUGH WITH THE LASER EYES OF JUDGMENT. SHEESH. SOME PEOPLE. YOU OPEN UP YOUR HEART AND THEY JUST DOOM YOU WITH THEIR GLANCES. SEE WHAT I DID THERE?) and let me tell you, I am NEVER looking back.
It’s time for Raid to rise from the ashes. I’ll be here spreading the gospel.

Don’t worry, Raid. I gotchu.
#Phoenix
#theRevolutionWillNotBeTelevised
#TruthHurts
#ifDoomIsSoGoodWhysLouisStillAlive
#someSpraysAreMoreEqualThanOthers
#ifDoomSoNiceTellMeWhyItWorksSoBad
tSN