When I was a child, I attended international schools and thus acquired a barely discernible accent. It was enough to make people in my primary school shun me (kids are so mean. Reasons I’m not having any) and my cousin @abbakidenda to this day still thinks I’m a fake who was being pretentious. shrug Such is life. Anyhue, once in a while it comes back in full swing (8-4-4 boarding school eroded it significantly), when I’m talking to childhood friends or in an environment where I need to (you know, if you’re at a place where people can’t understand what you’re saying unless you say woder instead of water). This often makes me feel fake, regardless of the fact that this is how I learnt to speak. Damn you, @abbakidenda.

Mr. M consistently makes fun of my so-called accent. Why do Kenyans do this? we find anyone who speaks differently from us highly amusing, especially shrubs. Entire empires of comedy have been built (and crumbled) on this one joke alone. You know how Black Americans comedians can’t not make a white joke? Kenyan comedians can’t not make a tribe joke. And a lot of the time, it’s a shrub one.

Mr. M and I walked into the Mac Shop at Sarit on a lark. He was like Ebu go ask the prices and stuff, but do it with an accent. I, still on said lark, agreed to do so. I laid on a thick Valley Girl accent over my typical Kenyan one. The dude immediately hopped to it and went out of his way to show me evrything…and ignored Mr. M. LOL. Am I the only one who finds it amusing that Kenyans STILL act like this? It’s amusing, and sad. The Other Boyfriend was telling me about how they refused to let a minister into a hotel at the coast, ati that day they weren’t allowed to let ‘Waafrika’ in. So now he’s suing them.

Really, Kenya? REALLY? SMH. shrug Can I have some woder?