And of course the first thing I thought was ‘Damnit,I don’t have painkillers.’

I walked into the salon – yes,you read that right. I too was surprised. – and instantly felt like the newest kid on the block. Dude. Salons are such an exclusive like for a specific community. Everyone knows each other. They’ve been coming here for years – obviously because they’re into pain – and all who dare darken their doors are destined to be dragged into the dens of disapproval – when they see my hair – and detachment – because I’m not ONE OF THEM. I’m an alien/I’m an illegal alien…

There was a really fat woman there. Like,really fat. I don’t have much against fat people – more cushion for the pushing – but this was freakin ridiculous. You know that feeling you get when you’re thinking,oh sweetie,head over to the salad bar? Worse. I feel bad. Can they say ‘I’m serious like a heart attack’ with a straight face? Someone asked me today if they feel all the weight they walk with as they walk. Hm. Like I said. I like me some fat,but I was like,I dunno about that sleeveless top,gurrl. I jus DON’T KNOW.

This all started,of course, with my mother,who,for 5 years,has been ON MY ASS about my natural,mostly uncombed hair. I swear there’s a class these women go to a class called ‘How to wear down your children till they do whatever you want 2210.’ So,to get her off my back,I now have things on my head that look like tiny little hungry leeches – little and skinny because they’re not eating.

I am of the opinion that the chick washing my hair was doing her best to carve a tattoo into my head with her nails. And then I was getting irritated at the fact that she wasn’t even seeing me wincing because she was lusting after some a’a mama’s bhajias. TOTES not approps. At least the music playing was good. Ei,but salons are not my thing. Movies really lie. I kinda miss my old salon where I knew at least 2 people and they used to give you cake/sweets/tea/wine errday of the week…you can go through pain if there’s food at the end. Ok I’m lying. I appreciate the fact that the guy currently adding leeches onto my hair doesn’t expect me to sijui make conversation like the chick he was doing – pause – before,who’d apparently just found out her boo – or not so much – had an affair and was debating about whether to confront him…in vernacular…

It wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. Or maybe that’s because there were drugs in my system. Let’s just say,I can’t wait to see and NOT hear my mom,lol. Now,about earrings…

tSN

p.s. LOL. Ati elections are in 2013? You guy the Kibz is IN IT TO WIN IT.