So I bought a pregnancy test.
Did you know that a test is 100 bob? It costs a hundred bob to find out if you are having a baby, 50 bob for 3 condoms, 30 bob for the daily pill and 120 for a morning after pill. I feel…is not getting pregnant becoming too easy? Lol.
It was so cheap I began to shuku its vibes. Was it from China? No, it said made in Canada. Which means they made it in China and wrote Canada? shrugs
It came in a thin little plastic thing that looked like a nail file sleeve. For real. So I went home and looked at it, and read the instructions like 4 times. It said, Do not use if test is not at room temeprature. Make sure sample is also at room temperature. (Sample. Ha.) Make sure the sample level is below the ‘maximum’ line on the test. But if you can’t open the test to check the line, then how do you know how much to pee?
I didn’t have anything to put The Sample in. I am not going to tell you what I used. Not because I have sensibilities, but because you probably do. Just know I did throw it away after use. :o)
I watched The Good Wife as I waited for The Sample and The Test to cool. That Eli Gold…me gusta.
So I carefully rip open the fragiley (does that word exist? Do I care? Who am I, and what is my purpose in this world?) encased test. AGH! The maximum line is like TWO MM UP! Damnit!!! spill spill spill Still? Damnit! spill spilll Ok. Breathe. Still room temperature? Have my sweaty hands RUINED THIS FOREVER!!??reads instructions once more
says fuck it
dumps test in The Sample
waits
tSN
waiting…
aaaaarrrgh…youuuu!
Waiting……. Wait,this is one of the earliest tests,you have ever blogged about.
BAru is right, you know.
wat happend to watering the flower and being scared of that zombie look??huh?
About various fun methods to express frustration and/or constipation?
:o)
What does that have to do with this?
Waaaait! Morning after pills are 120? I want my money back!
…still waiting…
What did I do this week? (title of post) hmmmm, i javved to inda, i nearly slept driving, and I burnt myself with masala tea.
As jnttnemo did all that, I made the world a better place to live in…I lie not.
HOW exactly did u do that?
Muthoni. Our thoughts exactly-well me and my sisters.
Abby,
Hi! This post makes one think of the watering the flower post. It's by default. A then and now is what the readers are trying to connect.
I went to watch the latest 'Underworld' flick against my better judgement. I think it's called Underworld Awakening…or something. I only did it to make up to my movie pals for being really nasty about the last movie they advocated we go see, 'In Time' which was a really really useless incomprehensible movie. Underworld is slightly better. Only slightly. At least I didn't feel like I had had my eyes molested like after that transformer robots movie. The third one.
Aaaaah. In that case, read the next post. But as a future disclaimer…the only constant thing in life is change. :o)
RIGHT??? Lol
Next post. :o)
FUNTIMES all around, I see. :o)
WOOOOW. INDA. 😀
No fun effects? Nothing? You poor dear. And I actually did want to go to see In Time. *runs to dvd store* Molested? Ha. Transformers…well, let's just say I used to be a fan until he tried to cram National Treasure, Transformers, Top Gear and the Brady Bunch into one movie (Transformers 2). THEY'RE MAKING A 4th ONE. Which, I must admit, in spite of all my contempt, I WILL go see. :o)
I have not read your blog for a while….sad (actually heart broken) to hear you gave it up – got explored. Had showed my niece your zombie story and she thought if a cool gal like you can wait, so can she. Sad.
O…k…