Meh.

Meh. Pan didn’t impress me or move me or give me an intriguing look into the history of one of my childhood’s favourite rebels or capture my imagination or portray any aspects of anything differently except possibly for the fact that it is indeed possible to be bored of Hugh Jackman on screen.

Hugh Jackman was over the top in his attempt to portray a lifethirsty blackguard pirate (they made him look super different, though, which was interesting) but him jumping onto railings singing about how he wanted to be entertained seemed more creepy than awe-inspiring. Rooney Mara as a lovestruck tribal princess was laughably unbelievable, especially considering the lines she was supposed to fall for. Pan himself was uncharacteristically optimistic – abnormally so – and the writers’ depiction of an orphan’s Dickens-like nun-ruled hell was annoyingly cliche and again, over the top. Don’t even get me started on the supposedly slick Captain Hook…

Usually, over the top movies are characteristic of children’s movies, but I felt the child in me be offended at the fact that they think this would be entertaining to me. Then again, they don’t make kids like they used to? And second, there were adult references and cuss words…so was this really meant to be a kids’ movie?

It shouldn’t have been a movie in the first place to be honest. The plot, like the acting, like the conclusion, like the entire movie, was forced and unnecessary. The only thing I liked about this movie were the shiny special effects – I suppose for children’s benefit as well – because apparently children are now a completely undiscerning audience. I mean…what was that?

Image from theodysseyonline.com